All contact options are confidential and handled by trained helpline staff.
However, if someone's behaviour begins to feel controlling, frightening, or leaves you feeling unsafe, undermined, or consistently hurt, this may be a sign of domestic abuse. You do not have to be physically harmed for something to be abuse, and your experience and feelings are important.
Abuse is a pattern of behaviour used to gain and maintain power and control over another person. It can take many forms and may include physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or financial harm, as well as neglect.
Abuse can happen in any kind of relationship, including family, romantic partnerships, friendships, workplaces, and institutions.
Are you, or is someone you know, suffering from abuse?
Get help nowDomestic abuse can include threatening, controlling, or coercive behaviour, as well as different forms of harm such as psychological, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, verbal, or online abuse.
It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, ethnicity, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, or disability. Abuse may occur within current or former intimate relationships or between family members.
If someone's behaviour makes you feel unsafe, controlled, frightened, or undermined, it is important to know that this is not your fault and support is available.
Sexual violence and abuse can include any behaviour of a sexual nature whether physical, psychological, verbal, or online that is unwanted, makes someone feel uncomfortable, pressured, controlled, or unsafe, or causes harm or distress.
It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, ethnicity, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, or disability.
If something feels wrong or unwanted, your feelings are valid, and it's important to know that this is not your fault.
Abuse can take different forms. Understanding these can help people recognise when something is not right.
Leaving an abusive relationship is not always straightforward. There are often many barriers emotional, psychological, financial, and concerns about safety that can make leaving feel difficult or even dangerous.
When thinking about why someone may stay, it is important to consider the risks of leaving. For many, leaving can increase the danger, and their fears are real and valid. Responsibility always lies with the person causing harm.
Understanding these challenges helps us offer compassionate, non-judgemental support.
The risk of harm can increase after leaving, and threats may involve children or custody.
Being cut off from support networks can make it harder to reach out or recognise what is happening.
Ongoing abuse can affect confidence, making it harder to feel able to leave.
Someone may feel embarrassed, doubt their experience, or struggle if the abuser denies or minimises the harm.
Control over money, housing, or immigration status can limit options.
It can feel overwhelming to speak about abuse or to know where to turn.
Leaving or seeking help takes courage, and support is available. This can include finding a safe, private space to make a call or accessing practical help such as transport through the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline.
You can support someone by offering a safe, non-judgemental space to talk. Listen, believe them, and let them know you are concerned about their wellbeing.
Talking about abuse can feel overwhelming, and they may feel guilt or self-blame. Gently remind them that what is happening is not their fault and that they are not alone.
If they feel ready, you can encourage them to contact the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline for confidential support. Your understanding and reassurance can make a meaningful difference.
Abuse can happen to anyone, and it is not always easy to recognise especially when it develops gradually. The signs may look different for everyone, but if something doesn't feel right, it's important to trust your instincts.
Some common signs that someone may be experiencing abuse include:
Someone may try to control what you wear, where you go, who you see, or your access to your phone, money, or daily decisions. This can begin subtly and increase over time.
Being distanced from friends, family, work, or support networks, or being made to feel guilty for spending time with others.
Feeling more anxious, withdrawn, unsure of yourself, or frequently apologising.
Being criticised, blamed, or made to feel worthless, whether in private or in front of others.
Walking on eggshells, avoiding certain topics, or changing your behaviour to prevent conflict.
Limited access to money or essentials, monitoring spending, or being prevented from working or studying.
If any of these feel familiar, you are not alone. Support is available, and you deserve to feel safe and respected.
Domestic and sexual abuse can affect many areas of a person's life. The impact may be immediate or long-lasting, and everyone's experience is different.
Abuse is never your fault, and support is available at any stage.
Experiences of abuse can have a deep impact on how someone feels and copes day to day. This may include:
These are common responses to trauma, and with the right support, recovery is possible.
Abuse can affect physical health in both visible and less visible ways, including:
Some effects may not appear straight away and can develop over time.
Abuse can affect how someone connects with others and manages everyday life. This might include:
These experiences may be shaped by both the impact of abuse and attempts by the person causing harm to isolate or control.
Abuse can also affect financial stability and access to resources, for example:
This can make it harder to seek help or make changes, but support is available
Children and young people can be affected by abuse, even if they are not directly harmed.
Seeing, hearing, or living in an environment where abuse is happening can have a significant impact on their wellbeing and development.
They may:
These are natural responses to difficult experiences. With the right support, children and young people can begin to feel safer and recover.
In Northern Ireland, the Domestic Abuse and Civil Proceedings Act (2021) recognises that children and young people can be victims of abuse in their own right, including when they see, hear, or are present during abuse. This reflects the serious impact abuse can have on their lives.
Source: Domestic Abuse and Civil Proceedings Act (Northern Ireland) 2021
Experiences of abuse can continue to affect someone over time, especially without the right support.
This may include:
These are understandable responses to difficult experiences. With the right support, healing is possible, and many people go on to rebuild their lives in ways that feel safe and meaningful.
Abuse can happen to anyone, but its impact may vary depending on a person's circumstances, identity, or community. Some people may also face additional barriers to seeking help or being believed.
View all communitiesSelect a section below to explore information and support that is most relevant to you.
Myths and misconceptions about domestic and sexual abuse can prevent people from recognising what is happening, seeking support, or feeling believed. Challenging these helps create a safer environment for anyone affected.
Below are some of the most common myths - and the facts that dispel them.
Fact
Abuse can happen in any relationship - regardless of age, sexual orientation, gender background, income, culture, religion, or education. Abusers often hide their behaviour, and people experiencing abuse may appear outwardly “fine.”
Source: Galop: Myths and stereotypes about partner abuse among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBTQ+) people.
Fact
Men can and do experience domestic and sexual abuse, regardless of their size, strength, age, or sexual orientation. Shame, stigma, and fear of not being believed can make it harder for men to reach out for help. Barriers to speaking up can also be shaped by the age they were when the abuse occurred, their relationship to the perpetrator, how someone understands an unwanted sexual experience, how others respond to disclosure, and wider societal attitudes around masculinity, gender and abuse.
Source: University of Brighton: Brighton research reveals hidden sexual abuse of men and barriers to seeking support, 2023.
Fact
Abuse is not always physical. Coercive control, intimidation, emotional harm, sexual violence, financial restriction and online abuse are all forms of domestic abuse.
Source: Women's Aid: Myths about domestic abuse.
Fact
False allegations are extremely rare (CPS,2022). This harmful myth stops women from reporting. Domestic abuse is widely underreported – with less than 1 in 5 individuals feeling able to go to the police.
Source: Women's Aid: Myths about domestic abuse.
Fact
Partner abuse doesn’t discriminate. It occurs across all groups and communities, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, culture, age or background.
Source: Galop: Myths and stereotypes about partner abuse among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBTQ+) people.
Fact
Leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous and is often the most dangerous stage. Abuse builds over time. People may stay due to fear, financial dependence, children, hope things will improve, or threats to their safety.
Source: Women's Aid: Myths about domestic abuse.
Fact
These factors may increase conflict, but they do not cause abuse. Abuse is a choice made by the person using harmful behaviour.
Source: Women's Aid: Myths about domestic abuse.
Fact
An abuser may justify their behaviour by saying things like “I’m sorry, I was having a bad day” or “I didn’t mean it.” This can make you doubt whether your concerns about their behaviour are valid. They may also place blame on you or others to take responsibility away from themselves. However, abusive behaviour often follows a cycle - tension, incident, apology, calm - before repeating. Apologies alone do not take away the abuse.
Source: Safety net: 5 Myths About Domestic Abuse.
Fact
Most sexual abuse is carried out by someone the victim knows—partners, family members, friends, or acquaintances – as evidence shows that 2 in 5 rapes against women are carried out by their partner or ex-partner. Consent must be freely given every time, whether it’s within a relationship or not.
Source: Rape Crisis England and Wales: Myths vs Facts.
Fact
False allegations of rape are extremely rare. In fact, most people who are raped or experience another form of sexual violence never tell the police.
Source: Rape Crisis England and Wales: Myths vs Facts.
Fact
An estimated 90% of children whose parents are in an abusive relationship witness the abuse. When a child witnesses domestic abuse it is child abuse. The trauma can have a long-lasting emotional and psychological effect on them.
Source: Somerset Domestic Abuse: ‘Busting the myths’ about domestic abuse.
These misconceptions can silence victims, minimise their experiences, or prevent them from seeking help. Understanding the reality of abuse helps create safer communities where people feel supported and believed.
Domestic and sexual abuse affects many people across our communities. It comes in many different forms, and happens to people from all walks of life.
have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16.
1
have been raped or sexually assaulted as an adult.
2
have suffered from abuse from a current partner.
3
individuals reported experiencing sexual assault since the age of 18.
4
experienced domestic abuse in the past year in the UK, equivalent to 700,000 older people.
5
will have experienced domestic abuse at some point in their lives, according to estimates
6
may experience domestic abuse, research shows.
7
will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.
8
of domestic abuse crime victims were male in 2024/25 in Northern Ireland.
9
according to Police Service of Northern Ireland statistics (2024/25).
10
will experience domestic or family violence in their lifetime.
11
are particularly at risk of Financially Motivated Sexual Extortion (Sextortion) in the UK.
12
had experienced anti-LGBT+ violence or abuse
13
had faced domestic abuse from a partner in 2018. This increased to 17% of black, Asian and minority ethnic LGBT people.
14
are victims of abuse.
15
with a long-term illness or disability had experienced domestic abuse.
16
with a long-term illness or disability had experienced domestic abuse.
17
were experienced by people with a mixed ethnic background in 2023, in England and Wales, research shows.
18
including forced marriage and female genital mutilation, as revealed by a 2014 Freedom of Information request to UK police forces.
19
alive today have undergone female genital mutilation worldwide.
20
than the general population, according to research
21
Sources:
Rape Crisis England & Wales (1)
ONS: Sexual offences prevalence and victim characteristics, England and Wales, March 2025 (2)
Safe Lives: Disabled people and domestic abuse spotlight, 2019 (3)
Galop: Sexual Violence: A snapshot of those harming LGBT+ people, 2023. (4)
Age UK: Shining a spotlight on domestic abuse in older people, December 2025. (5)
Parliament UK: Tackling inequalities faced by Gypsy, Roma and Traveller communities (6)
PSNI: LGBT Community (7)
Women’s Aid: Domestic Abuse: Facts and Figures (8)
NISRA: Almost one in five crimes involved domestic abuse, November 2025 (9)
PSNI: Domestic Abuse Statistics, 2025 (10)
PSNI: PSNI supports LGBTQ+ Domestic Abuse Awareness Day to highlight hidden harm and encourage reporting, 28th May 2026 (11)
National Crime Agency: Financially Motivated Sexual Extortion (Sextortion) (12)
Reducing the Risk of Domestic Abuse: ‘LGBTQIA+ Community & Domestic Abuse’ (13)
stonewall.org.uk (14)
Hourglass: ‘Who we are’. (15)
Ann Craft Trust: ‘Disability & Domestic Abuse’. (16)
Ann Craft Trust: ‘Disability & Domestic Abuse’. (17)
GOV.UK: ‘Victims of domestic abuse’, October 2024. (18)
Safe Lives, ‘Spotlight Report Your Choice: ‘honour’-based violence, forced marriage and domestic abuse’. (19)
World Health Organization: 'Female genital mutilation', January 2025. (20)
NHS Race & Health Observatory: ‘Inequalities in Mental health care for Gypsy, Roma, and Traveller Communities’ 2023. (21)
an increase of 286 on the previous 12 months.
Sources:
PSNI: Domestic Abuse Incidents and Crimes Recorded by The Police in Northern Ireland, December 2025.